Right-wing troll Milo Yinnopoulos has crawled out from obscurity to declare that he now identifies as ex-gay and is committed to advocating on behalf of the conversion therapy movement. . . I was never wholly at home in the gay lifestyle Who is? Who could be? he said in an interview with the very Christian and very homophobic LifeSiteNews. I only leaned heavily into it in public because it drove liberals crazy to see a handsome, charismatic, intelligent gay man riotously celebrating conservative principles. . . In an interview so absurd we had to double-check it wasnt satire, Yinnopoulos casts himself as a martyr whos fully committed to living a gay-free life. . . Heres how he describes it. Ive always thought of myself as a Jack Bauer sort of figure the guy who does the hideous, inexcusable things no one else can stomach, without which the Republic will fall. I know that means my name will always be cursed, and Ill always be a scorned outsider, so the temptation is to throw out any consideration of living well or truthfully. But even Jack Bauer has to confront his maker sooner or later. . . But wait, isnt he married to a man? you might be asking but probably arent as it would require having remembered anything about him. . . Yes, he is. And his new ex-gay status has really shaken up his home life. . . The guy I live with has been demoted to housemate, he explains, which hasnt been easy for either of us. It helps that I can still just about afford to keep him in Givenchy and a new Porsche every year. Could be worse for him, I guess. . . The cherry on top of this turd sundae is Yinnopoulos vow to help rehabilitate what the media calls conversion therapy, given his new spiritual preoccupations. . . And here we thought we couldnt like him any less.